CAFE NOIR » Tales of an atheist, anarchist, wannabe filmmaker of sorts, and father of three lovable little beasties

The. Most. Important. Election. Ever.

So I caught my boi Bill O’Reilly on Jimmy Fallon last night and he informed us that the 2016 US presidential election is sure to be the most important election of his lifetime. And that must be true for me as well, since he’s about seven times older than I am. So I broke out into a hot fucking sweat just thinking about the weighty ramifications of it all. And then I forgot about it for a while when this hilarious SNL-style skit popped on with Fallon and Snoop Dogg and some mannequin arms:

And then lying in bed afterwards, I broke out into another hot fucking sweat as I contemplated once again the gravity of it all. But today’s a new day with a fresh perspective. Yes indeed, some weighty shit lies in the balance. But, no matter who’s elected come 2016, here are a couple of quick thoughts to help set us all at ease:

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of brown people around the globe to maim, orphan, and dismember.

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of non-violent drug users to throw away in steel cages.

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of lower and middle class wealth for the Federal Reserve to funnel to Goldman Sachs.

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of drones to be manufactured and war profits to be had.

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of tasings, beatings, and killings for the cops to keep busy with.

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of wires to tap and emails to monitor.

There’s still sure to be no drastic shortage of grannies to have TSA hands jammed down their panties.

I’m feeling better already.

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